Sunday, September 22, 2013

Scottish Presbyterian Marmalade

I’m about to tell you one of my best-kept secrets. No, Dollinks, it isn’t the one about wearing a mask and socks for my performances in low-budget moviesThis is a secret about homemade marmalade - the kind so delicious you can never get enough. Perfectly sweetened, it’s never bitter - but still has a bit of a “bite.” 

Marmalade on toast has been my lifelong breakfast favorite. When I make it myself, I occasionally add a sprinkle of scotch as I ladle it into hot, sterilized jars, always affixing a little tag that reads “Homemade”. Homemade marmalade makes a great gift for any occasion. It’s amazing on muffins or pancakes, especially warmed and slightly thinned with orange juice to make a syrup. Homemade marmalade wins friends and influences people. If it ran for political office, it would sweep the polls!

Ah, but this isn’t just any old marmalade! It’s my Scottish Presbyterian Marmalade, and I’m going to tell you exactly how I make it. It’s easy - but as I said at the outset, it’s my little secret (and now yours). But first … a word from our non-sponsor! 

There! I hope you saw that as it flashed on your screen because I’m not showing it twice!

Whoops! I guess I just did. As you know, I don’t accept advertising on this blog. That means no one has paid me, given me a lifetime supply of marmalade, or extended any other favors for my praise of what I believe to be a great product - which this Seville orange marmalade base from the UK certainly is. sells it, but at twice the price any sane person should be willing to pay. In the Time Zone and at the Latitude Where I Live, my supplier is a butcher shop that sells all things British. (I love that word “supplier”! It’s tinged with a frisson of excitement, as though I were trying to dodge the cops. Live on the edge, Nicole!)

My butcher sells a very large can of this stuff for $8 or $9. Add water, sugar, follow the easy instructions, give it a name as fanciful as the one I’ve chosen for this blog, and you’ll have several pounds of excellent marmalade before you can say Elizabeth Alexandra Mary Windsor, aka QE II. But don’t believe me when I praise this British product - hear what our Anonymous Taste-Testing Panel has to say! 

The best marmalade ever! Two thumbs up!

Homemade??? How dare she lie! Harlot!  
Charlatan! Fake! Three tongs up!

Golly! Perhaps I should drop the tag that reads “Homemade”. But that’s how this tastes and no one knows the difference. You no longer have to raise the sheep to wear a fine wool sweater! This is no different. For the purists in our audience, I’ve included the Dundee Marmalade recipe I used to make with Seville oranges - before I smartened up. You’ll find the recipe in tomorrow’s post. After that, a delightful Tomato Marmalade!

Think of homemade marmalade as a jar of sunshine!

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