Frankie Opens the Mailbag

Frankie (in search of his Johnny)

Between blogging recipes for family, friends, and Frankie (my pet fish and personal secretary), it’s often difficult to keep up with the daily onslaught of cards and letters. I feel guilty about that, so recently dipped into my bulging mailbag to pluck out three letters at random.

Dear Nicloe:

When I read the reference to me in your Beersicles post of Sept. 3, I was tickled! Egad! If truth be known, it wasn’t your blog that tickled me, but the two young ladies with whom I was having breakfast. It’s not true that I’m attracted to younger women. Younger women are attracted to me.

I liked that photo of you licking a Beersicle. I liked it a lot. I want you to visit my home on Lake Como so you can fix me a Beersicle in person. By the way, are you over 40? If so, can you suggest someone more sprightly to make my Beersicle?

Lovingly yours,

George

PS: Don't take this the wrong way, Nicloe, but if you are over 40, and have no nubile friends, just mail me that Beersicle. 

Bonjour, Ms. Patron!

What a joy it is for Angelina and I to read your blog each morning! We’re hoping you might have time to come to France to cater our wedding! Unfortunately, we can’t tell you the date, because the kids are keeping it a secret - even from us. 

It seems there’s no escaping the vile, brutish press who loiter around Provence, always trying to photograph us in our 260-room chateau. If you decide to take us up on our offer to prepare the marriage feast, write us ℅ "Mr. and Mrs. Smith.”

Semi-sincerely,

Brad

Dear Ms. Parsons:

Michelle and I would like to express our sincere thanks for your diligence and persistence in blogging recipes for only the most nutritious foods - to wit, the Zebra Cake recipe you posted on Sept. 2. Unfortunately, your blog neglected to state how many zebras this cake requires. Please rush your reply before I embark on my next visit to South Africa. 

Best -

Barack

Postscript: A small favor, please. We understand your blog is politically neutral, but implore you to refrain from publishing any recipes requiring donkey meat.

And now I must return to my kitchen, Dollinks! Today’s recipe appears immediately below this post.  xox  Nicole (and Frankie)