Happy Holidays, 2014

Although I’m still not blogging recipes, I didn’t want to miss the opportunity to say I hope you had a blessed Hanukkah; to wish you a very happy Christmas; and to wish you a fine new year. Our holiday table will always have space for you!

Ron and I have just returned from Washington State: There, we saw our dear friend Darryl, who has contributed to this blog before. Darryl gave us our holiday gifts - Italian seasoning salt for me and a pirate’s “piece of eight” for Ron that Darryl found on eBay. 

So this was the series of thank you notes I penned the next day: 

Darryl:

The seasoning salt is delicious! I used it to flavor chicken soup. Ron is so excited about his “piece of eight” that he plans to buy the other seven pieces on ebay. He wants to take out a mortgage to do this. You have ruined our lives.

Love, Nicole 

8:00 am

Dear Darryl:

Ron woke up with pink eye and I am seeing red. He’s made himself a black leather eye patch, and says he’ll wear it forever. I blame you. 

Love, Nicole

9:00 am

Dear Darryl:

Ever since you gave Ron that wretched piece of eight, he’s been telling me to “Avast, Matey!” The dictionary says this means “Stop, young man!” I think Ron is bisexual. This is all your fault.

Love, Nicole 

10 am

Dear Darryl:

Ron has started to wear one of my gold hoop earrings. He says he wants to grow his hair into a ponytail tied back with a ribbon. I don’t think he’s bisexual, anymore. I think he’s gay. Because of you, I am broken-hearted.

Love, Nicole

11 am 

Dear Darryl:

You know the phrase “I’d cut off my right arm for a friend”? Ron thinks so highly of you - especially since you gave him that #$@! piece of eight - that he wants to cut off his right leg. I told him that if he does that, he won’t have a peg leg to stand on when I divorce him. You did this.

Love, Nicole

12 pm

Dear Darryl:

Ron has bought himself a parrot. It’s sitting on his shoulder as we speak. I’m an animal lover, but the thing poops all over the kitchen floor. There are feathers that have never met a chicken in my chicken soup. By giving Ron that damned piece of eight, you encouraged him to do this. You are my sworn enemy.

Love and curses, Nicole

1 pm 

Dear Darryl:

Problem solved! I used the piece of eight to buy a plank at Lowe’s. I made Ron and his bleeping bird walk it. Hey, big guy! Want to drop over for lunch? I’ve got homemade chicken soup! All I need to do is strain out a few feathers.

Love, Nicole

Enjoy the rest of the holiday season, readers!  xox  Nicole