One Click: Chicken Wings

It was the battle of the century. In this corner, in the green silk bathrobe: Ronald (Chicken Lips) Earle! In that corner, in the red curlers: Nicole (Boom-Boom) Parton! It’s the ... Great Chicken Wing Cook-Off! 

Nicole (Boom-Boom) Parton.

The Prize? We won’t mention the prize,

 but it sure looks like chicken feet ...

The contest: Chicken Lips’ (preposterous) belief that his wings could fly higher than Boom-Boom’s. The method: Each of these idiots cooked 4 lb. (1.8 kg) of chicken wings. 

Boom-Boom made Sticky Ginger Wings, Wings in Plum Sauce, and Devilishly Good Wings in Diablo Sauce.  

Chicken Lips made Honey-Garlic Chicken Wings, Hot Cha-Cha Wings, Ron’s Honeyed Chicken Wings, and Spicy Soy Wings. 

And then they sat down to over-eat. After that, they both got sick. Boom-Boom insisted Chicken Lips’ wings won. Chicken Lips insisted Boom-Boom’s won. After turning the (unmentionable prize) into soup stock, they called it a draw, agreeing they would never, ever do this again. 

We baked our wings in similar dishes - Ron’s clear ...

And Nicole’s tinted blue, to tell their wings apart.

Ron marinated his Honey-Garlic Chicken Wings.

Nicole’s Sticky Ginger Wings needed no marination.

As the sets of wings baked side-by-side, 

the Cook-Off took off!

Which wings won? You decide. These and other Wing 

recipes are findable as One Click: Chicken Wings

 or Chicken Wings: see One Click.

Dry Onion Soup Mix

This is an excellent recipe for ...  

Dry Onion Soup Mix:

½ c. (125 mL) dried onion flakes

1 tsp. (5 mL) onion powder

1 tsp. (5 mL) garlic powder

½ tsp. (5 mL) celery powder

½ tsp. (2 mL) fine black pepper

1 tsp. (5 mL) dried parsley

1 tsp. (5 mL) salt

Combine well. Store in cool, dark place in airtight container up to 6 months. This is a very handy soup mix for camping: Add approximately 1 tbsp. (15 mL) of this mix to a mug, topping with boiling water. A small amount of the dry mix can also be used as an ingredient in Onion Meat Loaf - a comforting cold-weather meal. For more onion soup recipes, see One Click Soups: (Onion). 

One Click: Sangria

If you have a garden, patio, or porch, some wine, some fruit, a couple of glasses, and a pitcher, you can easily make Sangria. 

I once sipped so much of my own Sangria at a garden lunch I hosted that I put my head on the table and fell asleep beside the soup and every course that followed. 

(I think of this each time I serve Sangria or Chef Gunther Gugelmeyer’s Chilled Rhubarb Soup! My guests served each course while I sawed logs at the table, oblivious to them or to lunch. At the end of the meal, my guests led me to bed, where I continued snoring until late in the afternoon.)

All good things in moderation!

• Cranberry Sangria

• Citrus Sangria

• Sangria Blanca

• Summer Sangria

One Click: Stew

It’s time to think about stew - not in the Northern Hemisphere, perhaps, but for readers in Australia and New Zealand, where it’s winter. You’ll find a variety of stews on this blog, with each linking to the others in a system I call “grouping.” 

You can always look stews up in the Index, but with so many different categories, you may miss one or two. This linked listing should greatly simplify your choices, Give it a test run to see how it works!

Beef Stew:

• Oven Beef Stew

• No-Peek Stew

• No-Fuss Beef Stew

• Easiest-Ever Meatball Stew

• Meatball Stew

• Harvest Stew

• Beef Stroganoff “Stew”

Pork Stew:

• African Fire Pork Stew

Poultry Stew: 

• Farmhouse Turkey Stew

• Creamy Chicken Stew

Vegetarian Stew:

• Chickpea Stew with a Kick

How to Measure Ingredients Accurately

I first wrote this post in 2011. It’s not exciting or funny, but it’s time to say it again for a new generation of cooks!

A few words about measuring ingredients. Experienced cooks can skip this stuff, but novices - or anyone who suffers too many cooking failures - should not.

Most of this blog is expressed in Imperial measure, but the desire to do better set in and I'm in the process of converting this blog to dual measurements. So here’s where things get complicated. 

This blog is read internationally. Strictly speaking, foods such as flour and sugar should be measured by weight, rather than volume. Here in North America, weighing dry goods is rare. Weighing meats and fish, however, is common and often necessary.

That’s why I’ve expressed 1 c. all-purpose flour or sugar, for example, in milliliters (mL) rather than in grams (g). It’s far easier for us cooks to rely on a measuring cup than a weigh scale, so I’ve presented flour and sugar as they appear in your measuring cup rather than offering their weights. Weighing ingredients (as professional chefs do) is a more accurate measurement, but most of us aren’t professional chefs and most of the cookbooks we use weren’t written for pros.

Unless you’re trying a new and complex recipe, you can usually get away without measuring the ingredients used in soup, meat, fish, and veggie dishes. 

Baked goods are a whole different story. Think of them as a chemical equation. When a bread recipe calls for a certain quantity of salt, or a pinch of sugar stirred in with the yeast, don’t omit or reduce either, or your bread will fall flat. As you go along, you’ll learn that some ingredient combinations - dairy sour cream and baking soda, for example - produce a strong chemical reaction. I love to watch the air bubbles form when that happens, knowing they’ll play an essential part in leavening the cake or cookie or whatever else it is I’m making.

Because you don’t want to wait too long once a reaction like this starts, I prefer to measure out the necessary ingredients in advance - always a sound cooking practice. The second part of this leavening process occurs with the addition of beaten eggs and baking powder. Experienced cooks who give this or any other recipe a quick read-through will immediately know they can expect such a cake to be light and airy, rather than heavy and dense. 

The measurement lesson here? Unless you’re experienced enough to read through a recipe and recognize it as a poor bet for success, do what the recipe instructs. Experienced cooks often change ingredients to create something completely new, but they rarely tamper with the basics - the balanced chemical components that make the thing “work.” Always have your ingredients at room temperature for baked goods other than pastry.

Leaving metric and Imperial measure aside, there are two kinds of measuring cups - “dry” and “wet.” As their names suggest, they have very different uses. Dry ingredients such as flour and granulated sugar are heaped into a “dry” measuring cup before being leveled off. Made of plastic or metal, these measuring cups tend to be opaque or solid, because you don’t need to see through them. 

If a cake is expected to be light and feathery, the flour, baking powder, salt, and soda are often combined before being added to whatever it is you’re making. I don’t own or need an actual “sifter” - I just spoon the ingredients through a sieve and onto a sheet of waxed paper, from which I measure it. 

Occasionally, recipes will call for a “scant” cup or a “scant” tablespoon. That means “slightly less” than a regular cup or tablespoon, with no leeway for extra! 

Here’s how: Using a large spoon and an upward motion, gently spoon about twice the amount of flour your recipe requires into a “dry” measuring cup until it rises well above the surface. Without compacting it, level it off straight across the measuring cup using a metal frosting spreader or large knife.

Using the same method, sift icing or “confectioners” sugar before measuring it: It sometimes contains lumps that are a nuisance to beat out. 

Whether light or dark, brown sugar is measured very differently. Unless a recipe says otherwise, brown sugar should be tightly packed into a dry measuring cup.

Liquid ingredients including water, milk, eggs, oil, and so forth are quantified in “wet” measuring cups. Made of plastic or glass, these tend to be see-through, allowing you to eyeball the measurement with accuracy. Don’t do this from above and don’t do this as you hold the measuring cup. For an accurate measurement, place it on a flat surface, looking directly across to the level of liquid inside. 

Unless a recipe states otherwise, use large eggs. For best results in baking cakes and cookies, eggs and fats should always be at room temperature. Fat should be chilled for pastry-making.

Solid fats such as butter, margarine, and shortening are measured differently again. If the fat is cold and hard, I use what’s called the “water displacement method.” It’s basically simple. Let’s say your recipe calls for ⅓ c. (80 mL) fat. Fill your 1 c. (250 mL) “wet” measuring cup with 2/3 c. (160 mL) water. Press enough fat below the water line until the water level of water rises to the 1. c. (250 mL) mark.  

Measuring solid fats by the water displacement method.

One more time: To measure 1/2 c. (125 mL) fat, add 1/2 c. (125 mL) water to your “wet” measuring cup, pressing enough fat below the water line until the water level measures one full cup (250 mL). Although this method is messy, it’s the very best way to measure the fat used to make pie pastry, for example. Making things a little easier, one U.S. stick of butter equals 1/2 c. (125 mL).

For cakes and cookies - neither of which are as fussy to bake as pies - I generally allow the fat to soften at room temperature, and press it as hard as I can into a dry measuring cup before leveling it off. You can use this method if you’re certain there are no air pockets to throw off your measurement.

One last quick word about measurements: Read the ingredient wording carefully! “1 c. (250 mL) chopped nuts” is very different from “1 c. (250 mL) nuts, chopped.” In the first measurement, you’ll need more than a cup of nuts to achieve the “chopped nuts” measure. In the second measurement, you’ll need exactly a cup of nuts, and will have less than a cup after they’ve been chopped. These simple but important techniques will enhance your cooking success.

Into the Bag #5: “The Zucchini Loaf Incident”

I’m sobbing uncontrollably as I write this post. I’ve never pretended to be Martha Stewart. If I were Martha Stewart, I’d have a rap sheet and would be old and rich. The old part, I already am, but I digress. 

Most of you readers know I’m not a gourmet cook. I’m … I’m … just a semi-ordinary woman who likes to cook, so how can one reader be so cruel? 

I am, of course, referring to Mrs. Harold Schermerlinger of Philadelphia, who regular readers will recognize as a frequent letter-writer to this blog (actually, the only letter-writer, but who’s counting?). 

I’ve just reached into the mailbag to find yet another letter from Mrs. Harold Schermerlinger, whose words bite harder than Seymour, my last dog, who sank his teeth into my son’s forehead and just sort of dangled there, not wanting to let go. 

Seymour would still be hanging on and my son would be 6 ft. under if I hadn’t distracted him with “Go-o-od boy! Here’s a cookie!” Many bites later, we rewarded him with the “long sleep.” (Seymour. Not my son.)

The last time Mrs. Harold Schermerlinger wrote, she said she and Mr. Harold Schermerlinger were going to sue me. 

Lucky for me, they relented, but this time, Mrs. Harold Schermerlinger (just let me blow my nose) writes: 

“I’ve never read a recipe blog worse than yours! Mr. Harold Schermerlinger is partial to Zucchini Loaf, so I thought I’d follow your stupid recipe using the 5 lb. zucchini an anonymous neighbor dumped outside our front door.  

“Thanks to this #$@! recipe, my Zucchini Loaf looked like Steven Tyler before his facelift. My husband of 44-1/2 years, Mr. Harold Schermerlinger, and our 45-year-old triplets, will forever avoid your blog!”

It’s a good thing - Yours truly, Martha Stewart.

Atta-Boy Dog Biscuits

Hey, happy tail-waggers! In my long-ago days as a newspaper columnist, I once rated dog foods by sampling them. (No wonder they called me a bitch). I was particularly partial to something called “Beggin’ Strips.” Said the label: “Dogs will love the taste of these delicious snacks so much they’ll never know they’re low in fat.” 

None of the dogs I’ve known cared all that much about nutritional labeling, but the discerning dogs you have are probably into stuff like Pilates, yoga, and meditation. All I’ve ever had were your average, everyday-come-what-may bed-hogging dogs. 

Never mind: Whether your dog craves $200 spa massages or rolls in Trump, your pooch will love these homemade treats! Ron thought they were yummy, too.

Atta-Boy Dog Biscuits:

1-¼ c. (310 mL) whole wheat flour

¼ c. (60 mL) powdered milk

½ tsp. (2.5 mL) garlic powder

1-½ tsp. (7.5 mL) wheat germ

½ tsp. (2.5 mL) beef bouillon granules

2-½ (13.5 mL) tbsp. bacon fat, strained or unstrained 

½ egg

¼ c. (60 mL) ice water

Preheat oven to 350 deg. F. In medium bowl, stir together flour, powdered milk, garlic, wheat germ, and bouillon granules. Stir in the bacon fat (strained or unstrained) and half-an-egg (whisk a whole egg to combine white and yolk, using half of it). Add ice water 1 tbsp. at a time until dough forms ball. On lightly floured surface, roll dough out to ½-inch thickness, cutting into squares or 1 in. x 4-in. strips. Place biscuits 1-in. apart on ungreased baking sheet. Bake 25 to 30 min., or until firm. Cool before serving.

How to Freeze Food

This post has appeared before, as have my recent posts on How to Make Stock. I’ve brought them back because this is a difficult time. Just as we’re all in this together, we all need to pull together and support one another as COVID-19 knocks on the door. 

Making stock is both comforting and practical. So’s freezing that stock, making what we have last, and wasting nothing. Ron and I have begun growing lettuce and herbs - something that can be done in a small space, providing a measure of satisfaction. We’ve just harvested the crop of garlic we planted last October. We’ve planted squash between the flowers, as we did last year. It’s good to have something to look forward to, and we’re looking forward to this.

Although this “How to” series likely features things you know, not everyone does.  My tried-and-true method for How to Freeze Food may be “different” from yours. It may also give you a much-needed laugh. Hang on, Dollinks ... hang on.

I am a highly organized woman. I balance my check book to the penny, file every receipt, keep warranties, and generally have my life in order - the exception being the archeological dig that is our freezer. I’m reasonably well-stocked in the freezer department - the only minor crisis being an occasional imbalance in bits and bobs (too many bits - too few bobs). 

As I recently clawed my way through the ice to find last summer’s bacon fat, my thoughts turned to freezers. I wanted that bacon fat. I needed it. Nothing works better in my favorite recipe for Red Cabbage. To save space, I’d stashed the fat in a thimble-sized plastic container, as any highly organized woman would do.

I excavated the levels of frozen food past Woodstock, past the Great Depression, past the Ming Dynasty… No bacon fat. Slowly coming to grips with the realization that it was gone, I speculated that it may have migrated to that mysterious place that houses single socks, or maybe into the hands of someone who wanted it even more than I did. Prime suspect? Ron. Clues? Freshly greased hair. Bacon-scented cologne. Paper-thin alibi.

That got me thinking about a system that would never fail (unless the item in question were bacon fat - which, as everyone knows, is highly prized as an ingredient in foods such as, um … bacon). 

Forget the system we used in the ’80s. It was too obsessive ... too compulsive … too what-e-ver. 

Here’s how it worked back then: Let’s say you froze eight pork chops and six T-bones (I used to be more extravagant, actually buying T-bones. It was just T-bones, of course. I couldn’t afford the steak draped over them). So let’s return to our eight pork chops and six T-bones. 

Taped to the outside of the freezer was a little sign: “Pork chops,” it read. “T-bones.” And so forth. Beside the notation for “Pork chops” was  / / / / / / / / Next to “T-bones,” I wrote: / / / / / / 

Whenever something left the freezer, I stroked through the item count, changing it to an X. The system failed because our kids removed stuff willy-nilly. It was crazy-making. So now I just dig, using the same technique employed in the frantic search for victims flattened by fallen buildings.

Full disclosure? I’ve stopped putting pork in the freezer. We’ve been unable to stomach it since the time I bought a 23-lb. (10 kg) pork leg on sale at a buck a pound (Miss Piggy Goes to Market). We briefly considered converting to another religion to avoid pork, but our love of bacon and shellfish was overwhelming.

(Digression: I’m still traumatized by an unfortunate experience I had in the ’90s. I left town for a single day, only to return to see my then-husband glazed in sweat. He’d scraped through layers of ice to retrieve and chuck the bags of pumpkin I’d been saving since the ’70s for future use in soups and scones. Is it any wonder we divorced?)

My new system will be foolproof. It will be easy. It will organize your freezer and mine for once and forever (though finding the missing bobs is probably hopeless). Here goes:

(1) Peer into your sorry excuse of a freezer. You’re probably thinking “No room, no room!” Remember the Mad Hatter’s tea party? Using my system, you’ll soon have plenty of room.

(2) Buy stackable rigid containers in various sizes. Use freezer-grade plastic bags for meat and seafood. 

(3) Transfer chilled food to containers. Wash previously used containers with soap and hot water: No cross-contamination in your kitchen!

(4) Using indelible ink or label maker, mark filled packages by content, quantity, current date, and expiry date.

(5) For efficient date-rotation, store containers in bottom of freezer.

(6) For reasons unknown, containers never migrate to top of freezer.

(7) Toss.

One Click: Stock (How To Make)

Some people make soup. My Austrian grandmother made Zoop. It cured everything, was fragrant and delicious, and filled us up when we were hungry. And now I make Zoop. 

• How to Make Poultry Stock

• How to Make Fish Stock

• How to Make Pork Stock

• How to Make Beef Stock

• How to Make Vegetable Stock

I throw vegetables, bones, and seasonings 

How to Make Stock.

into a large pot to produce chicken, vegetable, or beef stock. Stock and broth aren’t interchangeable terms. As one culinary expert put it: “Broth is something you sip. Stock is something you cook with.” Stock contains a lot of bones; broth contains a lot of meat. 

The stocks I make tend to use both. Turkey’s a prime example. Although we slice and pick the meat from the bones, there’s always some left. Turkey stock is rich in flavor. So’s beef broth. The marrow inside beef bones is flavorful.

A fast summary of making stock? Bring water, seasonings, vegetable scraps, and the (optional) meat, fish, and bones to a boil; reduce the heat to simmer; chill everything overnight; skim away the fat; drain the liquid from the vegetables and meat or fish; chill the liquid again; skim away the fat with greater precision than the first time ... And there you have it! The basis for a very fine zoop! 

My grandmother, or “Mutti,” would have been proud. The posts highlighted above will show you exactly what to do and how to do it.

I grew up as the earth was cooling. European households were big on European morality tales - and my Austrian grandmother told some whoppers! Enter Struwwelpeter, by Heinrich Hoffmann. As any good child raised in post-war Europe, I recognized this as the Morality Tale to End All Morality Tales. Struwwelpeter - literally, “Shaggy Peter” - was an undisciplined boy who let his hair and fingernails grow too long. As a consequence, he was shunned by his friends. Today, the kid would be a rock star.

In these morality tales, naughty children always met dire consequences. A thumb sucker had his thumbs snipped off; a girl who played with matches burned to death; a boy who ventured outside during a storm blew away! What does this have to do with soup? Everything.

I was raised with the story of Die Geschichte vom Suppen-Kaspar (The Story of the Soup-Kaspar). You can imagine where this is going! Kaspar, a robust young boy, refused to eat his soup. Over the next five days, he wasted away. Surprise, surprise! While I remember Soup-Kaspar, I also remember Augustus - same story, same ending. It reads:

The Story of Augustus Who Would Not Have Any Soup:

Augustus was a chubby lad;

Fat ruddy cheeks Augustus had;

And everybody saw with joy,

The plump and hearty healthy boy.

He ate and drank as he was told,

And never let his soup get cold.

But one day, one cold Winter’s day,

He screamed out - “Take the soup away!

O take the nasty soup away!

I won't have any soup today!”

How lank and lean Augustus grows!

Next day he scarcely fills his clothes,

Yet, though he feels so weak and ill,

The naughty fellow cries out still -

“Not any soup for me, I say:

O take the nasty soup away!

I won't have any soup today!”

The third day comes; oh, what a sin!

To make himself so pale and thin.

Yet, when the soup is put on table,

He screams as loud as he is able,

“Not any soup for me, I say:

O take the nasty soup away!

I won't have any soup today!”

Putting Augustus to one side, Zoop! is an inexpensive, nutritious comfort. If you’ve never made stock, the methods below make it easy to start. My advancing years have changed the way I do things, so I sometimes buy prepackaged stock. Low-sodium commercial products have improved over the years. Once you have stock, making homemade soups, enriched rice, and gravies is deliciously simple.

Tip: Add 1 tbsp. (15 mL) vinegar or white wine or lemon juice to a full stock pot the size of mine (16 qt. or 16 L). Adding this small amount of acid to poultry stock helps move the calcium from the stock bones into the broth. Adding lemon juice to stock may impart a slight citrus flavor to soup, so don’t overdo it! 

This tip comes from Ann Krahulec of Vancouver, who will be 99 in six weeks. Ann grew up on homemade soups: As the story goes, Ann’s mother could make a tasty meal out of almost nothing. Charming the butcher, she’d tell him about the delicious meal she created from last week’s meat, so he’d always give her a meaty knuckle bone for the family’s (non-existent) dog.

A handy site called lifehacker.com verifies the vinegar tip, crediting it to a site called The Kitchn: 

https://skillet.lifehacker.com/why-you-should-add-vinegar-to-your-chicken-stock-1818492266 

https://www.thekitchn.com/do-this-for-thicker-richer-homemade-chicken-broth-248251 

Adding vinegar to the early stage of poultry stock will “break down the collagen in bones and tissue, releasing extra gelatin. The result is a finished broth that gels up in the refrigerator, but even hot you’ll notice the difference - richer in texture and taste.”

How to Make Poultry Stock

Hel-looo, Big Boy! You’re lookin’ good! I am, of course, referring to the turkey carcass in my freezer. It’s time to make some soup! Just now, I’m keen to prepare some delicious stock, or broth, from that carcass in the freezer. My favorite kind of Poultry Stock is chicken, primarily because I serve chicken more than any other poultry. I try to buy it whenever it goes on sale, and always keep a good supply of this excellent stock. So pull up a kitchen chair, Dollinks! Let’s get to work!  

How to Make Poultry Stock: 

Toss chicken or turkey carcass with bits of meat and skin still clinging to it into large pot. If you can find some feet not currently in use by a chicken, they make the very best stock! For depth of flavor and added nutrients, be sure to include vegetables and seasonings in the mixture. 

I normally use a quartered whole onion, a stalk or two of celery, one or two carrots, some carrot, potato, and onion peelings,  and whatever else I have in the produce drawer with the exception of strongly flavored vegetables such as fennel (anise) or cauiflower, or brussels spouts; brightly colored vegetables such as beets; or strongly fragrant herbs such as mint. 

I also toss into the stock pot all the vegetable peelings and odds and ends I’ve saved and frozen since the last time I made stock. You’ll want a very large lidded pot for this: My stock pot holds 16 quarts (16 L). 

To the vegetables and to your carcass (um ... to your poultry carcass, Dollinks), add cold - not hot - water. Cold water draws more collagen from the bones, giving your stock extra body and flavor. Turkey or chicken skin adds flavor, too; later in the process, we’ll skim off the fat it produces. Because my stock pot is so large, I use a lot of seasoning - usually a good tablespoon of salt, a generous amount of chicken bouillon concentrate, and about a tablespoon of coarsely ground black pepper. 

Cover the pot and bring the stock to a boil, placing a toothpick between the lid and the pot to release the steam and to prevent the stock from boiling over. Keep a close watch: As soon as the stock begins to boil, reduce the heat to simmer at a low setting 3-to-4 hr. Remove the stock from the stove top and cool it to room temperature. Strain it through a sieve to remove the vegetables, bones, and skin that have yielded their flavor and nutrients for your benefit. 

Chill the broth overnight (or, depending on the season, stick it outdoors for 5 min.) Now skim off the fat. If the soup is very cold, the fat will form a solid crust and will be easy to remove. If the fat is semi-solid, it will cling to a metal spoon. If the fat remains more or less liquid, strain the stock through a fine sieve lined with cheesecloth. Dividing the broth into smaller quantities before you chill it will help solidify the fat. 

With most of the fat removed, strain the stock again to clarify it of any bits of parsley or carrot that might remain. You are now ready to package, date, and freeze the broth, or to use it immediately in any recipe calling for soup stock. With the poultry carcass and spent vegetables removed, I generally get 8-to-10 qt. of stock for my efforts - a tremendous yield for having done very little work.

Poultry stock is useful in making soups, stews, rice, risottos, and gravy. Try to keep some on hand.

For other basic stock recipes, see One Click: Stock.

Big as a Buick: The typical stock pot.

Add water to veggies ends, peelings, carcass, and skin.

Simmer 3 hr.: Strain bones and veggies from broth.

Skim fat from chilled, strained broth.

A turkey carcass and leftover vegetables

produced 24 c. (6 L) of strained stock.

Freeze until needed.