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Saturday, March 1, 2014

Herbed Butter

Here it is! The secret recipe you will want to keep forever, to hand down to your kids, to refuse to give your friends (no matter how much and how often they beg), and to hide in a safe place. This is the recipe that will become your signature dish - the recipe you and you alone will know how to prepare. The other readers of this blog? A piffling detail. 

I have a large family. I force each of them to click on my blog multiple times a day, pumping up my readership numbers to make me look like the brilliant cook I am not. The naked truth is that I do not have as many readership hits as the numbers indicate. You will likely be the only person to read this recipe and clutch it to your rippled chest with a six-pack underneath and flexed arms with muscles like ropes and legs with the strength of tree trunks and a pencil-thin mustache like a 1930s heart throb. 

And those are just the women who read this blog (my cousin Mamie being but one example). So, as my first sentence says, here it is! My extra-special recipe for … 


Herbed Butter:

½ c. butter, softened (no substitutes)
2 tbsp. finely chopped onion
2 cloves garlic, crushed 
2 tsp. poppy seeds
2 tsp. sesame seeds
¾ tsp. dill seeds
¾ tsp. caraway seeds
Bread slices, as required

Preheat oven to 350 deg. F. Combine all, mixing well. Spread over sliced bread (any kind except rye), heating 8 min. (with oven rack in middle position) until butter melts and bread is heated through. Alternately, spread on lightly done toast, broiling quickly (with oven rack in middle position) until golden. Serve hot. Tip: Spread Herb Butter over toast fingers for a delicious and very easy appetizer!

Tomorrow, to mark the occasion of the Oscar ceremony, I present my recipe for Beef Tenderloin Oscar. Accompanying the recipe is the as-yet-untold story of the shameful scandal that still swirls around the 1944 classic film, Lighthouse. Hollywood cruelly tossed the sensation of the silver screen onto the scrap heap, ending the careers of once-popular stars Lana Hayworth and Clark Peck

This tragic exposé will bring tears to your eyes. Your nose will run, your throat will be sore, and you may suffer a slight fever. Take two aspirins and read it in the morning. 

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