Frankie’s close association with bottom feeders and his deep-sea underworld connections drew him into a life of loan-sharking. Unable to comprehend (or calculate) compound interest, he almost went belly up. He tried putting his money offshore, but had trouble accessing it because - well, what part of “off” shore did he not understand?
Disgusted by his lifestyle, potential advertisers fell away. Frankie sank into a depression deeper than the Mariana Trench. Where was Charlie the Tuna when Frankie needed him? Why wouldn’t McDonald’s let him promote their Filet o’ Fish? How could Captain Highliner turn his back?
Ignoring reality, Frankie developed a taste for caviar, which he consumed in copious quantities. He refused to believe he was all washed up.
The mob circled, sensing blood. Even an angel fish couldn’t save Frankie, now. He had only one option left - to enter the Witness Protection Program and accept a job with the Anonymous Taste Testing Panel for Nicole Parton’s Favorite Recipes.
Swimming away from the fancy fish tank and the life of luxury he’d gained by extorting potential advertisers, Frankie returned to his modest bowl. A single vice remained. Frankie vowed that whenever a caviar recipe needed testing, he’d be first in line.
When I asked if that wouldn’t be super cannibalistic and atrocious, he thanked me for the “compliment.” Later, we figured out that he thought I meant “Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious.” Oh, dear.
So that is how Frankie came to test this dip. Even if he were chomping on a distant relative, he still pronounced it a winner.
This recipe is a simpler version of Suzy’s Caviar Pie, which I made last week. You’ll find that recipe indexed under Appetizers: Caviar.
Caviar Dip with Crostini:
1/2 c. whipping cream, unsweetened
2-to-3 tbsp. caviar
1-to-2 tbsp. finely chopped sweet onion
3 hard-cooked eggs, chopped
Melba toast, small water cracker, or plain Crostini (Recipe, below)
Whip cream until softly mounded. Drain caviar, blotting dry on paper towel. Together with onion, fold into cream and spoon into a small bowl. To a second small bowl, add chopped hard-cooked eggs. Serve side-by-side with melba toast, small water crackers, or Crostini.
Heap a dollop of Caviar Dip onto toast, cracker, or crostini. Spoon on a sprinkle of hard-cooked egg. Eat it all, because this dip won’t keep longer than 1 day.
1 c. olive oil
½ tsp. garlic salt
1 narrow-diameter French baguette