Heart ’n’ Soul Guacamole

I’m always surprised to see that I haven’t yet posted a recipe for Guacamole - but who needs a recipe? Guacamole is something you make from the heart and soul - no need for a cookbook. 

The ingredients vary by cultural and individual preference, but the basic avocado, tomato, salt, hot seasoning, and lime (or lemon) juice are always present. A short while ago, I found a Guacamole recipe that uses mayonnaise - yuck, yuck, and yuck - not to my taste, but perhaps to yours. 

Guacamole offers many variations on a theme, the worst of which resembles a menacing shade of green once prevalent in toothpaste and on the walls of institutions for the incurably, criminally insane. I speak from experience. Of the former. Not the latter. Not yet, anyway.

Some supermarkets try to pass off this glow-in-the-dark horror as Guacamole. Make no mistake: It is not. Watch as it slowly slithers and slides from its opaque plastic container - a congealed brick of glop. Avoid this product lest you land in an institution for the incurably, criminally insane.  

For those of you Dollinks who have been duped and brainwashed into thinking this is how Guacamole tastes, I’ve got news for you. The recipe below is proof positive that you can make a very decent Guacamole for very little money and very little time. The ingredients, quantity, and proportions are approximate - taste it until you like it, but don’t taste it all or you’ll have nothing left. 

Guacamole is excellent served with chips, small crackers, or beside the salsa and sour cream you serve with quesadillas. We aim to please, so if you want to make some of those quesadillas, you’ll find my Three-Pepper Quesadillas indexed under Mexican. Happy eating, muchachas y muchachos!

Heart ’n’ Soul Guacamole:

1/4 c. (60 mL) finely chopped onion

2 medium tomatoes, diced

1-1/2 tsp. (7.5 mL) fresh lime juice (or half a lime, juiced)

1-1/2-to-2 tsp. (7.5-to-10 mL) hot sauce

1 tsp. (5 mL) chopped fresh garlic

3/4 tsp. (3.75 mL) salt (do not reduce)

1/4 tsp. (1.25 mL) chili powder

2-to-3 ripe avocados, peeled at the last moment and lightly mashed (see Note)

Cilantro sprigs, as garnish

In a work bowl, combine all except cilantro. Cover and let flavors blend at least 45 min. This is mandatory, unless you miss the good ol’ school days when you thought library paste was a food group. Consider yourself warned. Transfer Guacamole to serving dish; garnish with cilantro.

Note: I’ve found that the very best place to mash avocados is on a clean chopping board. From there, they just slip into your work bowl, never giving them a chance to brown. Don’t over-mash them or you’ll purée the mixture; a light mashing produces the irregular, appealing texture that sticks to the cracker, crisp, or stomach onto which you heap this Heart ’n’ Soul Guacamole. 

Guilty-Secret Note: The best way to make Guacamole is with clean fingers and hands. A spoon, fork, or (No! No! No!) electric mixer is a poor second-best to your Hände.