No-Bake Chocolate-Coconut Macaroons

These no-bake Macaroons are easy and delicious. They’re also the first recipe I’ve published in more than a year (Ged-dover it: I lost my password, finally discovering it in a shoe). 

You probably won’t be hearing much from me over the next year, either: I’ve been working on a “project” (code for eating bon-bons and noodling away on a book. Litmus test: If I collapse with hysterical laughter, I know a section has succeeded. If I collapse with hysterical laughter and start crying, I know a section has failed).

This, too: Just as I was thinking about maybe, possibly, perhaps posting a recipe, Himself and I suffered a hu-u-uge infestation of moths … Battalions flying from closets, from under beds, sofas, tables, behind pictures on the wall … Every one of those little %$#@! assuming our house was a brothel, and every one of them prepared to go forth and multiply by “doing it” - mercifully not with us, but with the thousands of other moths mistaking our place for a Tinder site.

During this time, both the kitchen stove and the kitchen floor caught fire: We stayed in a motel for days while the restoration company that came to help posted a sign reading DANGER: DO NOT ENTER on our front door. I kid you not.

With our house a scene of buggery, almost our clothes went outside to be checked, sorted, washed or dry-cleaned, bagged, and stored in zippered plastic bags bearing seasonal labels. As recently as this morning, I came across two moths “going at it.” Seeing and catching are entirely different: They’re still out there, procreating. 

In an effort to find some sanity,  I wandered into the kitchen and (in a dull stupor), began to make these easy macaroons. The fact that they’re no-bake was a major plus (our new stove won’t arrive for two months). 

And PS: I dedicate this post to Mariee (with a double “e”), who - in  reading my blog yesterday - was polite enough not to say “No recipes for the past 10 months???” Such is life. 

I made a double batch of these tasty Macaroons - mostly because I won’t be back in the kitchen for awhile. 

No-Bake Chocolate-Coconut Macaroons:

3 c. (750 mL) quick cooking oats

1 c. (250 mL) sweetened flaked coconut

½ c. (125 mL) butter or brick-style margarine

½ c. (125 mL) milk 

2 c. (500 mL) granulated sugar (See Sickeningly Sweet Note)

½ c. (125 mL) unsweetened cocoa powder

Line large baking sheet with parchment paper. To medium bowl, add oats and coconut, combining well. Set aside. 

To large saucepan over low heat, add butter or brick-style margarine just until melted. Stir in milk. Increasing heat slightly, add granulated sugar and cocoa powder, stirring until mixture is well combined. 

Et voilà! Pour over oats and coconut; mix quickly to coat. Drop spoonfuls onto prepared baking sheet. Chill slightly, or just until macaroons start to firm up. At this point, you have two choices: To slam them down by the spoonful, heaping them high, as if to say: “Calories be damned! Damned, I say, damned!” 

Or to roll them small and delicate between your palms, nestling them in small cup-cake papers, as I’ve done. A little of something as sweet as these goes along way.

Regardless, store them in an airtight container in the fridge or freezer. These freeze well. At their daintiest, these make men-nee, men-nee Macaroons. At their largest, they make a dozen. This is a heaven-or-hell choice. So now you know why I’ve been  avoiding the kitchen … 

Sickeningly Sweet Note: These Macaroons are best eaten frozen. They’re  actually quite stomach-turning at room temperature. Too sugary. I made them before driving to a party, slamming on the brakes to dodge a squirrel who? that? raced onto the road, upon which every Macaroon I’d made flew from its pretty plate onto the floor of the car. After picking off the hair and the usual stuff on car floors, I proudly served them. There wasn't exactly a rush for them. It may have had something to do with their appearance. PS: Good news! The squirrel survived.