* * *
Time hadn’t been kind to Sadie. After weeks of drinking Jell-O shots, she went off the deep end. She didn’t know how to swim, so Frankie always rescued her.
Their problems with a rival Family from Sicily meant Frankie had to be tough. Swimming up to them, he said:
And that scared the rival Family so much that they threw away their violin cases and tommy guns and baseball bats and stopped watching Robert de Niro movies and Frankie became a hero and everyone ate Sardines in Tomato Sauce unrelated to Frankie’s Sardinian Family and no one had to wear cement overcoats and they all lived happily ever after. Whew!
And Sadie? Not much changed for Sadie, except that - out of respect for Frankie, her one true love - she never ate fish again. She still mailed herself advice, but wouldn’t read it. She still downed Jell-O shots, but now in smoky bars. And she was still lactose-intolerant, but no longer cared.
Frankie’s Sardines in Tomato Sauce:
2 garlic cloves, crushed
1 medium onion, finely diced
6 green onions, finely chopped
½ green bell pepper, finely diced
½ yellow bell pepper, finely diced
One 14-oz. (398 mL) can tomato sauce
½ tsp. chili powder
½ tsp. paprika
¼ tsp. salt
¼ tsp. black pepper
1 small, firm tomato, diced
Two 1-½ oz. (106 g) cans sardines in oil, undrained
2 tsp. finely minced fresh parsley