Ants on a Log (Kid-Friendly)

While the adults chow down in front of the TV set during the Super Bowl, don’t ignore the little ’uns. Kids love this football favorite! 

Ants on a Log:

Celery stalks, as required

Smooth or chunky peanut butter, as required 

Raisins or currants, as required  

Rinse, dry, and trim celery stalks into 2-in. lengths. Fill hollow with peanut butter. Dot with raisins or currants. Step back to avoid being trampled by the stampede.

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It’s almost game time, so I’d better strap on my cleats and head for MetLife Stadium! I’ve been secretly training all month as a front-end pinch hitter. It took awhile to adjust to the nose-plug tackle, but my Holy Grail pass is a slam dunk and I’ve managed to master the Heisman maneuver. 

I’m not sure if I’m playing for the Bronco Bulls or the Dodge Rams, but both uniforms fit pretty well, even if those shoulder pads looked wa-a-ay better in the ’80s. I won’t even talk about the pants, but I’d bet a pret-ty pen-ny that none of those footballers has ever given birth. And here’s a tip: If you guys want to look good for the camera, ditch the makeup. Only Avril Lavigne wears the raccoon look, and it isn’t so hot on her, either. Now tell me truthfully … Does this helmet make me look fat?