Nicole Parton’s Sexy Undressing

There! Now that I have your interest, I’d like to share my recipe for an easy turkey dressing I make it every year. There’s no formal “recipe,” but I do it just like my mother did it.  Which sounds pretty sexy, to me. 

Before I begin, I want to explain the difference between turkey “dressing” and turkey “stuffing.” Some sources say there’s no difference whatsoever: I call what I make a “dressing” when I’m in polite company, but call it “stuffing” as I cram, ram, and jam it into the bird, right up to my elbow.  

For the difference between the two terms, I’m going to defer to an enthusiastic young blogger who lives in Central Mexico. Raven Chelanee writes about food at http://www.cookeatdelicious.com/ Here’s what she has to say (with minor editing from me) about the dressing/stuffing conundrum: “Let’s get this out of the way, first. There’s not a huge difference between dressing and stuffing - it’s just how you cook it. Dressing dresses the bird. It goes on the platter around the turkey or is served in its own serving dish. Stuffing, on the other hand, stuffs the bird. It goes into the raw bird’s cavity and is baked inside the bird. Yeah? Okay!”

I bake inside the bird, with extras baked in a covered dish alongside. I call my dressing “sexy” because I always make it the night before, dressed in a negligée. MYOB about what happens to that negligée later in the evening. That’s why I call this dish ...

Nicole Parton’s Sexy Undressing:

5-to-6 c. (1.2-to-1.4 L) dried, cubed white bread, crusts on
½ c. (125 mL) butter or margarine 

1 medium onion, coarsely chopped

2 or 3 stalks of celery with some leaves, diced

1-½ (7.5 mL) tsp. celery seed

½ c. (125 mL) dried cranberries (optional)

1 medium apple, peeled, cored, and chopped (optional)

1 c. (250 mL) toasted, coarsely chopped walnuts (see Note)

1 lb. (454 g) pork sausage meat
About 2-½ c. (625 mL) poultry stock, or as needed

2-to-3 tbsp. (30-to-45 mL) poultry seasoning

Salt and coarsely ground pepper, to taste

Dry bread with oven set on lowest heat. Cut into cubes and set aside. Melt butter or margarine in a large skillet. Add onion and celery, stirring until tender. Stir in celery seed, cranberries, apple, walnuts, and pork sausage, cooking over medium-high heat until sausage loses its pink tinge. Stir in seasonings, adjusting to taste. 

Transfer to large mixing bowl. Stir in well-dried bread cubes, so they absorb the fat. Mix well, adding stock little-by-little, until mixture is well moistened. Make this dressing one day ahead and the cranberries will puff up beautifully. Cover and refrigerate overnight. Do not stuff the bird the night before! On the day you cook your turkey, rinse its cavity with cold water, blotting dry with paper toweling. Salt lightly. Stuff turkey shortly before you pop it into the oven. This makes enough stuffing for a 15-lb. turkey.

For another excellent turkey stuffing, see One Click: Turkey, where Linda’s Pork-Free Turkey Stuffing is findable with a single click, as are other turkey (or turkey-related) recipes. 

Note: See Index for How to Toast Nuts.

Tip: Placing the stuffing into a moistened commercially available poultry stuffing bag before cramming it into the bird, and the stuffing will slip out quickly and easily!

Dry bread several hours

Dice into bite-sized bits, setting aside until needed ...

Which is now!

Combine onion and celery, stirring until tender

Mix walnuts, apple, and all except sausage, stock, and bread

Fry sausage in skillet with all except bread and stock

Combine with bread cubes and stock, as needed. Chill.

My good manners prevent a more graphic illustration of
what Ron is doing to this bird - and where he's doing it!